The TV commercials portray that first Christmas together as newlyweds so differently. The happy couple is relaxing together on a cozy sofa in front of the fireplace. Suddenly the eager young husband pulls a box out of his pocket, his Christmas gift for the new bride. Of course it is jewelry, and expensive jewelry at that! Maybe he makes her cover her eyes and he leads her out to the driveway where he hands over the keys to her brand-new luxury automobile.
We all know that most newlyweds cannot afford diamond jewelry or the latest model car on that first Christmas they spend together as a married couple. Still, we are romantic enough to think that that first Christmas together will have a charm all its own, simply because it is the first one together. There may not be expensive or elaborate gifts, but there may indeed be quiet moments in front of the fireplace. There will be joyful reunions with beloved family members, sharing happy meals together and gathering around the Christmas tree for family pictures which will be treasured for years to come. The whole family will go to church together and then return to sing Christmas carols around the piano. Whether the newlyweds are the only ones together for Christmas or whether they are in the part of a large family gathering, we expect that first Christmas together to be the beginning of a whole new chapter of life. This is the beginning of memories, stories, and traditions to be shared for generations to come. My first Christmas as a newlywed was nothing like the idyllic Norman Rockwell painting that I had carried around in my head for years. I certainly didn't expect it to be like the television commercials with all those expensive gifts and soft music playing in the background. All I really hoped for was that it would be somewhat pleasant. Apparently, I had unrealistic expectations. As most newlyweds soon find out, the first sticky issue to appear is where the happy couple is going to spend Christmas. At the time we were graduate students living in a small apartment in suburban Atlanta. All of our friends were leaving to spend the holidays with family members. We didn't want to spend that time alone in an undecorated, Christmas tree-less cubicle in a strange city. In retrospect, that might have been the best idea..

Spending Christmas with my parents in suburban Philadelphia was problematic. It most likely would be a very long drive through terrible weather. (Substitute bitter cold weather, icy roads, and blizzard conditions for romantic white Christmas.)
The other alternative was spending it with my husband Milton's family. They lived in Hazard, Kentucky, several hundred miles closer to Georgia, but also known for serious weather issues. Although the town was named for Oliver Hazard Perry, driving up and down its icy mountain streets made a visitor think that its name was quite fitting.
Now that we have been married almost four decades, I realize that we probably should have gone somewhere alone together for that first Christmas together—a Caribbean cruise or a hotel in a city that we had always wanted to visit. Of course, it has taken almost forty years to come up with that idea. It never occurred to either one of us back then in 1976. We moved on to the tie-breaker—the Christmas tree. Several years previously, my parents had moved to an artificial tree. My father, never handy at things around the house, had finally had enough of the annual ritual of looking for a live tree, trimming it, watering it, and cleaning up the mess after the holidays were over. I certainly understood the practicality of that decision, but somehow, some way, to me it symbolized THE END. I'm not sure even now what it was the end of. I just knew it was THE END. Other friends and relatives seem to have made the transition without incident or regret, but I have not even yet. Certainly I wanted to spend our first Christmas together with a live tree.
The Eblens held the trump card. Milton assured me that the family always had a live tree and would never even consider anything else. Knowing his mother and how particular she was about everything concerning her household, it seemed plausible to me. Nevertheless, Milt said that he would make sure.
Although I had some misgivings, we were off to Hazard for the holidays. Remember it's Christmas, I told myself. Even the very worst of families seem to draw on some hidden reserve of cordiality and good manners just to get through a couple of days together during this season. After the long drive from Atlanta to Lexington on I-75 and then another two hour road trip from Lexington to Hazard, we finally arrived. Helen, my mother-in-law greeted us at the door.
"Before you get settled, I want you to come in the living room and see our beautiful new artificial Christmas tree!"