LOVE WITHOUT ROSES
Shelia A Mills

CHAPTER ONE
Great Grandmother's Dream . . .

Four years had seemed like a lifetime, to have been away from them. I thought about them nearly everyday and ached inside, wondering if they had forgotten about me and my family, or if they would ever get the chance to meet my son, our son, Michael. I wanted so much for them to remember. My needing to go back, started three years before.

It all began on May 5th, l993. I had awoke from an alarming, but very peaceful dream. It was like a sign. A personal message sent to me through my Great Grand Mother, Annabelle. She was telling me to believe and to convince my Mother of the blind truth, that she had chosen to ignore. She wanted to have me warn her, to make peace with her father, before it was too late. Great Grandmother, Annabelle, was her father, Lloyd's mother. They were very close.

I closed my eyes that night and drifted off into a deep sleep. Somewhere around 2:00 A.M., I felt an indescribable warm peacefulness. In my dream, I awoke in the house, that my grandparents had once lived, where I was but a small child. Except sitting there in the dark, I was not a child, but a 26 year old woman. I got up, walked back to the back of the house and locked the door. I glanced out the side window, to find an old woman staring back at me, from her darkened room. I pulled the torn blanket across the entrance of the basement, from which I had once played. I had then walked through the cold kitchen. The only things that were remaining, were some cobwebs, dust and two pictures that could be seen, hanging in the dining room. One of an old country setting and the other, of Grandfather Lloyd. I sat in their old antique chair, that I remembered as a child. My knees drawn up towards me and a warm blanket wrapped around my body. The only light that I had to see with, fell through the shadows of the alley. I pulled the blankets down from my face and I saw grandfather Lloyd. He was sitting about six feet away from me in the front room, where we had always celebrated Christmas. A time of family and happiness.

I could hear the laughter and words of us as babies, and youngsters throughout the house. I could hear the whispers and the squeaking of the screen door, as it did when family would gather in the backyard. I could smell the flowers throughout the rooms, as though I were standing in the garden. Though , there was nothing there.

I went over to talk to Grandfather Lloyd. I called his name but he gave no answer. He sat staring towards the front window, as if he were waiting. But waiting for what? A feeling? A person? Or just the longing for a gentle touch? I laid my hand on his and gave a gentle squeeze, as if to say, "I love you!"

His hand was a little cold, he had turned his hand to hold onto mine. "I'm so tired. I love you so much Priscilla, but can you really understand just how tired I am?" He seemed to show a small smile. I laid his strong hands onto his lap. I turned to see Allisa walking towards him. I saw her lay a warm blanket over him. He shivered for a moment and then stopped. I looked at her and she vanished. There was no sign of her at all.

I laid his head to the left side, to rest comfortable in the chair. He had drifted off to sleep. I asked him, "Grandfather, are you all right?" He gave no reply. "He is okay. He will be just fine." I heard a mans voice say, the voice coming from in front of the window. The voice had sounded very familiar. So, I turned to see if it was him, my Great Grandfather Reed. The light was so bright that I was nearly blinded. I covered my eyes until the light was gone. There sat Great Grandfather Reed, Grandfather Lloyd's father.

He was a feisty old man, with what seemed to be a stubborn streak that went on forever. "You can hear me?" I said! "Yes, I can hear you." He said. "Am I in a dream?" I had wondered. "No, you are not in a dream. I have come back to talk to you and to see my son for myself. I chose to talk to you because I know how much you love him."

He continued... "We're here to leave a message." "What is the message? Who is it for? and who are "we" any ways?" I was at peace talking with him. I was honored to see him, to hear him, just to know that he was there. He died on Anthony's birthday, twelve years before.

Great Grandfather Reed walked up to him. "Hello Lloyd. I am here for you. I can feel the pain that you feel inside. I know what you've gone through and have heard your prayers, even when you weren't on bended knees. I have seen you fall and have wanted to catch you. I have seen the tears in your eyes and have watched as life has passed you by. I have felt the same air as you and have hoped when you have, for your dreams to come true." The words had flowed out from his mouth, as a heart felt poem. Then, he returned to the shadowed darkness.

I saw the bright light revolve once more in front of him. Then, great grandmother appeared standing