Excerpt

THURSDAY, APRIL 19TH
At two oclock in the afternoon I get a reply from Chad. I am pleased with his response, though saddened by another revelation. He says that he agrees with everything Ive said and that he has been acting very immature. He then reveals that he was also arrested for the possession of marijuana! He said that most of the kids in his suite at the dorm are pot smokers and he had been foolish enough to get caught up in it. He says that his arrest has been a real wake-up call for him and he hasnt drank or smoked since the arrest. He then says that JMU has been in contact with him and, that for him to stay in school, he has to perform ten hours of community service and take a rehab class next semester.

Chad closes his email by saying: My motivation has been lacking over the last two semesters and my grades will probably reflect this. I know that I am a very capable human being and there is no doubt that in my mind that next semester when I come back I will rock all of my classes. My GPA will be fine Im sure, by the time I graduate. I have messed up time and time before, but I take solace in the fact that I know my heart will be and has always been in the right place and in the end, I will meet all of my obligations.

Despite the marijuana revelation I am feeling much better about things and Im thinking maybe this really will only be a glitch in the road for Chad. I send Chad a short reply laying out some ground rules of what Debra and I expect from him when he gets home this summer. I ask him to check with his lawyer to make sure that there is no chance that this incident will end up on his permanent record as long as he does everything the court tells him to do. I also warn him that raising his GPA is not as easy as he thinks and that even if he were to get straight As the rest of his college career his GPA would end up around 3.5, assuming he finishes this year with a 2.0 average. I admonish him once again to hit the books hard these last three weeks.

A mere two-and-a-half hours latter, as I am getting ready to go home, I get a bizarre reply from Chad! Even though my return message is attached to the email he doesnt acknowledge it. Instead, he wants me to relay a message to Debra. He says he has really been feeling weird lately. He says his back feels locked like there is something wrong with his spinal cord, and he says his neck shoots off in weird directions at times and he is having trouble keeping his head still! He goes on to say that sometimes his eyes roll to the top of his head and his legs have been buckling under him. He also says that his heart is beating fast all the time and that some of his blood vessels expand for no reason. He then says, I have no idea what is going on with me, but I dont feel normal. I dont feel like my normal self at all. Im also stressing out all the time now because of this, and Im getting paranoid. I always think everybodys talking about me and my eyes are always glassy white and I can see all sorts of blood vessels in my eyes. He closes his email by saying, Maybe I have some whack condition or something, Im sure it will pass, but maybe mom can tell me exactly what is going on.

I stare at the monitor screen thinking what in the world! I have to read it again to make sure I got it right. I sit there for a minute a little dumbfounded and a little scared. I print the email and head for home, hoping that Debra will be there. She is. I explain briefly what is going on and I hand her the email so she can read for herself. She immediately puts in a call to Chad and he answers. Chad starts to tell her the same thing on the phone and Debra stops him from time to time to ask him a few questions about each symptom. Just then, Debra can hear Chads roommate come into the room as Chad says hi to him. Chad tells Debra not to worry about it, whatever it was, it was only temporary, he is now feeling fine. Debra tells Chad that he needs to go the school nurse to get checked out, and if he cant get in to see her, to go to the hospital. Chad promises her he will and then hangs up.

I look at Debra and ask her what in the world is going on! Debra thinks that he has been having anxiety attacks. We both discuss the fact that he is under a lot of stress right now with the arrest and the fact that he is not doing well in school and finals are coming up. I feel a little guilty wondering if my last email was the reason Chad had stressed out.