One

Jenna inhaled deeply, allowing crisp fall air to invade her body. Feeling a nip of winter creep further through her open window, she pulled the plush blanket higher around her babys shoulders. Jenna loved the precious time spent rocking her child to sleep while he snuggled into her breast. At these moments, she felt the most connected to her only love. She also missed him the most vividly.

Lightly running her fingertips over Aarons tiny head, Jenna studied the perfect little features, so like his fathers. Daniel had never tried to conceal the pride he had felt whenever someone mentioned how much his son resembled him. He had considered the child his greatest work of art, and his most important. Jennas husband had been many things, but humble had never been one of them. She couldnt help grinning, recalling his admission of knowing he was a very good-looking guy. And he really was, or had been. Even after he had gotten sick and had lost too much weight, his features had still been perfect and his eyes absolutely beautiful.

She snuggled her baby closer and returned her gaze to beyond the window. The view from their loft was breathtaking at this time of the year, with hundreds of maple trees along the banks of the Illinois River boasting their shades of red and yellow and green and brown. The Spirit of Peoria, a reproduction of the beloved old riverboats, often sailed by with passengers walking the decks or standing at the rails. Six years earlier, Jenna and Daniel had watched the Julia Belle Swain together whenever they caught it floating along the river. Once, covered only with a sheet pulled from their bed, they had stood before the large window and talked of taking the short cruise on the old paddle-wheel. Some day.

Some day had never come. Neither had so many other days they had planned. Their time together had centered around his painting, but then, he had told her to expect that. She hadnt argued when he had refused to go out because he was working or when she had to go to bed alone. She had been warned and had willingly accepted his terms. The naivete of youth, Jenna mused sullenly. Now, there was no later for them. The Julia Belle and Daniel were both gone.

His baby stirred in her arms and Jenna coerced herself to rise slowly, moving across the loft to settle Aaron in his crib. Convinced he was still slumbering, she wandered into the kitchen to pour a cup of mint tea; a habit she had developed while carrying her first child. Daniels mother had suggested it might help settle her stomach and it seemed to work. Even well after the morning sickness was gone, Jenna had continued the routine and joked with her husband that maybe he should try it as well, to calm his nerves. He didnt like mint tea. He didnt like boats either, except at a distance. Alan had once pointed out that Daniels work was the only interest they shared. Jenna quickly pointed out that her advanced pregnancy proved him wrong. Her best friend hadnt been amused.

Not sure what to do with herself while Aaron slept, Jenna returned to the beautifully carved oak rocking chair, a gift from her mother-in-law. Joan had been nearly as excited as her son after hearing that he and Jenna were expecting their first child, and had wasted no time making sure they had everything they needed for the baby. Jenna hadnt heard from Joan recently. She considered trying to call, but knew she would have to talk to two or three other people just to get through to Daniels mother and then most likely have to leave a message. She wasnt up to that today. A fleeting thought of calling her own mother surfaced, then dissipated. She would just try again to invite Jenna to some social gathering. And Jennas sister-in-law would insist on coming over and staying the day, with the kids. She wasnt up to that, either.

Alan. He would be at work, but she could talk to Cheryl for a few minutes, until her twins interrupted, and ask her to say hello. Jenna didnt want to talk to him now, anyway. She only needed to feel the connection to know he was there.

She dialed his number without stopping to think about it. She knew it better than her own.

His voice startled her. He shouldnt be home now.

After another prompt, she gathered herself enough to answer, grimacing at the shakiness of her voice.

Jenna, whats wrong? Are you okay?

She hesitated again. No, she wasnt, but she wouldnt tell him that. Yeah, Im fine.

You dont sound fine.

Trying to maintain composure, she fumbled for something to say to him now that he was on the phone. I Im just surprised you answered. I figured youd be at work.

We just finished a big job. I gave everyone the day off.

Oh? Howd it go?

Another Nicklaus project.

Jenna half-grinned at the term. Nicklaus had been one of her friends first clients, never satisfied and constantly insisting on changes. When she had still been meeting Alan on Sundays for dessert and coffee, Jenna would hear about all of the complaints and revisions of the week and make jokes to put him in a better mood. It had always worked.

Jenna? Alans voice called her back.

Sorry, I thought maybe youd heard enough complaining recently and I should just stay quiet.

Do you want me to come over?

Yes, she very much wanted him to come over. Oh, no, Im fine. I was just checking in to see how you guys are doing. Is Justin over the flu?

Jenna, that was two weeks ago.

She paused, holding her breath a moment and wishing she hadnt called.

Im coming over.

No. Alan, its your day off. You should spend it with your family.

My family is fine; youre not. Ill be right there. He didnt give her time to respond before she heard the click from his end.

Oh, hell. She wasnt ready for company. She hadnt gone out in nearly a week or showered in two days, and there were dishes in the sink and baby toys and blankets on the floor. Not having time to shower and clean both, Jenna decided her own cleanliness would be more noticeable. So she checked on her sleeping son and jumped into the warm water.