"Thou has covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

What the Psalmist is telling us, then, is that God put him together in the womb.... The next time you look at your little one, remember that from the raw material of DNA, proteins and other nutrients, God formed your baby. Just as personally and individually as He made Adam from the dust of the earth, so the Lord God wove your child in the womb.

The raw materials are a little different from what He utilized to make Adam, but the Creator is the same. You, the parent, served as the storehouse for those raw materials. Thats why we say that Billy has Dads nose, and Jenny has Moms eyes. And since it was God who took those resources and turned them into a person, we can also say that just as surely as Adam owed his life and being to God, so does your baby.

That means that God has a prior claim on your little child, just as He does on you and your forbears all the way back to Adam and Eve. God made each of us, and we must not forget that when it comes to the agenda for our children....Dreams and aspirations are not necessarily sinful, but they must give way to the reality that Gods agenda takes priority over our own....

In the film The Karate Kid, there is a scene where the swarthy Daniel shows a picture of himself with his blond, blue-eyed girl friend to his mentor, Mr. Miyagi. Miyagi studies the two in the photo. Then he comments, Different...yet same. From my own experience, this terse observation applies in ways far beyond what the old Okinawan gentleman intended.

When our older daughters were still in the early grades, people with problem children would comment to us, Just wait until they become teenagers -- then youll see. Misery loves company, and so they wished upon my wife and me the same kind of teens they had produced. Then when my girls entered into their teens ...the comments changed to, Well, you have girls, but boys are more headstrong.

These parents did not understand the full import of the truth: different...yet same. Yes, preteens are different from teens, but a child allowed to rebel in his early days will continue to rebel with the same spirit in adolescence. Boys and girls obviously differ, but God in His Word does not give us different programs for training them. Girls can be headstrong, too.

One of our daughters was as willful as any boy Ive ever observed. She would pick the most trivial issues on which to challenge us -- e.g., Lets put your shoes on so you can go outside and play. Shed look me straight in the eye as she set her jaw and planted her feet, and I knew we were in for a contest of wills. The fact that she actually wanted to go outside, took a back seat to the contest. She defied her mother and me ... all through toddlerhood.

Another daughter was a negotiator. Almost anything we might tell her to do brought a counterproposal. This form of disobedience was much more subtle, for before I realized it, I often found myself entering into the negotiation process on her terms. She was different from her sister...yet the same....

As a parent, you can enjoy the uniqueness of each child ..... You can recognize each individual and encourage each ones characteristic interests and aptitudes, while at the same time you understand and apply Gods own standards and goals to all your children. Let me tell you why this is so important.

I once served as the principal of a Christian Day School operated by a local church. During recess one day, I observed the pastors son and his schoolmates playing baseball. Every few minutes an argument broke out over whether someone had touched a base, ticked the ball with the bat, or some other point that affected the games progress. The boys yelled, used intemperate language with that in-your-face posture they picked up from watching their heroes on TV, and they would throw the bat, their gloves and the ball. It was obvious that if this continued, someone would get hurt.

Since his son was involved, I mentioned the angry outbursts to the pastor with the intention of coming to an agreement about how to stop this behavior. I was shocked to find out that he did not want to curb his sons temper; he wanted to encourage it. He said ... he did not want his son to grow up to be a wimp, and that arguing and even fighting would cause him to grow up to be a real man. I understood that he was indirectly telling me ...I was not a real man because I saw a problem with his sons anger.

As a man of the Book, he should have known better. He should have known that human wrath does not produce godliness (James 1:20). The Bible does say that sometimes its necessary for a man to fight but not over the childish desire to come out ahead in some game. That pastor had substituted his own [wimpy!] juvenile idea of what makes a real man for the standard set down in the Bible. You must take care to learn from his mistake and accept Gods authority in all you think and do as a parent.

The rest of this book grows out of the major theme of this chapter: that your children come from God, and that He alone has the authority and the knowledge to determine how you can and should rear your children. .... For only as you follow the guidance found in His Word will you be able to fully enjoy your children as blessings and treasures from God.