"Ewe Anew"

Laughing, your enemy runs with glee
Thinking, at last,
He brought ewe to your knees
Little does he know
Ewe bowed your head low
Only to deliver a serious blow

Realizing he missed
He blows ewe a kiss
Laced with the nectar
Of his death wish

Ewe stumble a little
Take a step back
Use your head
To get back on track

Ewe bow your head low
Deliver your blow
Refusing to ever
Let the pain show

Your enemy reels
Angry and shocked
Why won't ewe run scared
With the rest of the flock

If only he knew
This little ewe
Recycles her pain
Into something anew

She bows her head low
Delivers her blow
Refusing to ever
Let the pain show


Throughout my whole life, I felt like the world was trying to run me over and push me out of the way. I was born to a fifteen year old teenager who was kind of "out there" by some people's definition. When I was a baby, she kept dropping me off at either her sister's house or at her friends' houses for " a few hours" while she went to the store or something. Often times these "few hours" turned into a few weeks or at least a few days. Needless to say, I never actually bonded with my biological mother.
My adoptive parents were cool for a little while. Then I started looking more and more like my biological mother. Since my adoptive mother always wanted to add her husband to the "possible father" line-up, she took out her anger and frustrations on me. Later, I'll spell out the details of the physical, emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse she tried to kill me with when I was a child. By the time I was ready to start the tenth grade, I had been removed from my adoptive parents' care. That's when life started to level out for me, but all the damage was done.
I graduated from high school with my virginity intact and excellent grades so I was admitted to a very prestigious private college for black women many miles from home. I graduated from that college with my 18-month-old daughter in one hand and a cum laude/departmental honors/college honors program degree in the other. Ironic isn't it? My background suggests that I should be lying on someone's couch receiving therapy for life. Instead, I got a BA in Psychology.
I've had my share of happy moments and let downs, but I'm still here, still caring about people, and I learned to move on if I don't like a situation. I've been abused, raped, married, divorced, deceived, and betrayed all before my thirtieth birthday. I wrote this book primarily to help others that might be having a hard time dealing with life's obstacles. I'm not a therapist, but I thought my story might encourage someone else to consider other options besides suicide like I learned to do. During my whole life, people have been trying to steal my joy. What I had to learn and what "they" don't realize is that they will never succeed because I am Joy. This is my story...