People who learn to be quiet and reserved early in life find themselves attracted to people who are more overt and exciting, and vice versa. People who tend to be quiet are known in Imago as Minimizers. Their counterparts, the more emotive and overt partners, are known as Maximizers. Often, the Maximizer's parents - and in particular their mothers - were not emotionally available to them during critical attachment and bonding developmental phases. While these mothers would attend to their child's physical needs, they did not seem to be actually enjoying parenting, and did not emotionally connect with their child. These mothers tend to be perceived by their child as somewhat cold and distant. Over time, Maximizers learn that if they want their needs met they would have to actively court it. The child develops a desperate need to be “seen”. In order to be seen, the child often demonstrates a great deal of emotionality.


In contrast, the Minimizer has a primary caretaker who, while emotionally bonded with the child, is not always available (e.g., a workaholic or siding with the other parent versus the child in disputes). The Minimizer cannot count on the parent being consistently warm and available, so the child learns to self-soothe. In contrast, Maximizers cannot count on their parents being emotional, so they take over the expression of emotionality themselves.


While all people possess both Maximizer and Minimizer qualities, they tend to manifest one or the other to a greater degree, and they find themselves attracted to someone who embodies the opposite emotional traits. Once the PEA dissipates, they find that their s activate the patterns they experienced with their primary caretakers. The Maximizer will be attracted to the Minimizer, and will desperately want to be connected to the Minimizer (mirroring an earlier, parent-child dynamic). However, the Minimizer will struggle with expressing this connectedness emotionally. The Minimizer may fear being consumed by the Maximizer's persistent need for overt emotiveness. This internal conflict is often interpreted by Maximizers as the Minimizers simply not caring about them.


Maximizers are also more overt about their sexuality and emotions. Conversely, Minimizers tend to be less emotionally labile or sexually active, and are less likely to exhibit their emotions. In fact, they often react to Maximizers' heightened emotional expressiveness with an increasingly blunted affect. Shell-shocked by what they perceive as the Maximizer's swirling maelstrom of emotions, they retreat.