Jeremy's Arrival

It was very exciting after working with birthing for four years to finally be having my own much-longed-for baby. I had suffered two miscarriages previously. I learned a lot about birthing and about myself during this experience, as I know we all do. Gail Peterson, author of Pregnancy as Healing, said "as we live, so we birth" and this seems very true. For me, I like to be in control of myself, and, at that time, was not very good at relaxation.

When I was eight months pregnant, I started to worry. I had very bad menstrual cramps as a teen and my mother used to say having a baby would be nothing for me after that. I sometimes had cramps that lasted twenty minutes. I'd faint and fall off the toilet. I thought, oh my God, if labor is like that, I'm never going to make it. Here I've been telling women they can do it and what if I just totally blow it and can't do it??!! I decided to psyche myself for the day. It's just one day out of your life, you can take anything for one day, you'll get a baby out of it.

On June 22nd, at one in the morning, I woke with my first labor contractions. Though I had lots of preparatory contractions from about six months on, somehow I knew this was really it. I told my husband he could go back to sleep, which he gratefully did. I was too excited thinking this was our baby's birth day to sleep. The contractions were mild about fifteen minutes apart and I sat in our big easy chair quietly breathing in the candlelight.

For some reason during pregnancy, I thought I wanted applesauce in labor and I had stocked some. Around 4 a.m., I ate a little. By dawn, the excitement was wearing off some and I went back to bed and dozed for a while. Around eight, I had some tea and toast, and my husband and I walked downtown to get Cath. She's an emergency medical technician (EMT). Though I felt sure I'd have no problems, I didn't want my husband in the position of handling it if there was a medical emergency. She was cleaning her fridge and we hung out listening to music. I walked and moved around and as long as I stayed relaxed, I really had no pain.

After a couple hours, we headed back to our house where I continued to walk in my first garden. Dilation progressed smoothly and before 1 p.m., I was completely open. I was trained in the Lamaze and hospital way of forced pushing. [They still do this, wanting the mother to push to the count of ten, take a quick breath and do it again. I have since learned that working with your body's urges works much better and is less stressful for mom and baby.] I also liked being in control, and after all of the waiting and relaxing of labor, it was great to be able to do something.

So I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed. I was sitting propped up with pillows on the bed. Though I had read the Birth Book by Raven Lang that showed hands and knees births, it never occurred to me to change position.

I realized after this birth, the value of a skilled attendant. I had wonderful emotional support but no one with the experience to assist me in relaxing and guide me through. I could feel myself tense up with contractions when pushing but couldn't stop myself. I finally asked my husband and friend to tell me to relax during the contractions. When they would tell me to relax, I could let go immediately but I needed that outside reminder.

Two hours into pushing, we started to see a little dark hair showing. My friend Cath was doing perineal massage, which I hated. But I didn't want to tear and told her to continue. And I pushed and pushed to the count of ten. Another hour went by.

When the head finally came through, I felt I just couldn't do it again and I kept on pushing and Whoosh he was all born on one contraction. My husband was receiving and he said, "A Baby!" and tossed him to our friend Cath. She seemed just as startled at him finally coming and quickly put him on my belly. As they started to cover him with a blanket, he inched his way up my body and looked right at me as he latched on to my breast. I was awestruck. Blissed out in love.

Obviously, my pushing for three hours did not stress him out. I didn't tear though I did have "skid marks", as some call them, on my vaginal walls. {Air-drying for fifteen minutes after bathing has remarkable healing effects.] Jeremy Scott weighed 8 pounds 4 ounces. Most babies' heads are 13 to 14 inches around; his was 15 inches. The majority of babies are 18 to 22 inches long; he was 22 inches. Now at twenty-five, he's 6 feet 3 1/2 inches and a gourmet chef.

- from Tree of Life: Stories of Birth by Diane Gregg