Joseph Is Down For the Count

At Washington Elementary students argued over the stupidest things all the time. Some students tried to avoid arguing all together. While others did either one or three things: Talk about each other, talk about your Mama, and those who were the bravest would dare each other to do the unthinkable in the most disturbing degrading way. There were two people in fourth grade that was capable of the third one, my friend Heaven Dolly and Vernon Bails.
A half of school year had managed to go by and they avoided each other having short run ins, but someone would always be the better person. Both of them knew they were the king and queen of The Dare, Double Dog Dare, Triple Dog Dare and the ultimate Quaddipple Dog Dare that know one wanted to do. Neither Heaven Dolly, nor Vernon had ever got a chance to dare one another. They never had too. The students that challenged them could never break the record stopping after the first dare. Though on this day a fifth grader named Joseph wanting a title challenged Heaven Dolly to a Dare bout on the playground. As everyone stood watching, there was something I knew the rest of the students didn’t. Heaven Dolly, had been known for many things, but there was one thing Joseph did not know. She was wild. She could be determined and she was CRAZY.
“So what are you waiting for, do it?” pressured Joseph. Heaven looked down at the seat of the swing that had over the years a million butts on them, or more and took a step up.
“Where’s my water bottle!” she asked and Angie walked up holding the water bottle in her hand handing it to Heaven. While I clinched at the thought of it all as everyone gazed holding their breaths.
“Well what are you waiting on?” Joseph asked. Heaven knew if she waited a second longer he would have to go to the next dare and she didn’t want him to get that far. Every dare up is a step down for the person that has to do the dare. Those are the rules. So, without thought, she took one more step lifting the swing. The students grossed out making noises. Holding the swing up almost touching her chin, I was going to barf as she told Angie to move up with the water bottle. With no warning, she licked the seat of the swing and a third grader fainted.
“Eeeeeeeeew! Grooss!” shouted the students. Heaven grabbed the water fast gargling and spitting in the sandy dirt. She did it because she didn’t want to loose her title. She did it because she didn’t want to appear to be scared, but she really did it because after….it was her turn.
After Heaven got herself together she turned looking at Joseph shaking in his boots. He knew it was coming and he tired to dart away, but his friends pulled him back in to the circle as Heaven untainted looked around. When she spotted Mrs. Williams Kindergarten class leaving there play area seeing the Little Snots being picked up out of the sandbox and she smiled. I knew then he was going to lose. No one plays in the sand box. Over the years the Little Snots have had more pee and pooh accidents in the sandbox, then crashes on the streets and everyone knew it. We didn’t even chase balls in there because we knew better.
“I double dog dare you to eat a hand full of sand from that Frisbee!” she called for the Frisbee some students were playing with and placed it in his hands as he tried to act tough slinging it to the ground.
“You don’t scare me! I’ll do It!” Joseph marched across the playground and we all followed behind. When we got there we formed a circle around the sand box.
“Ok then tough guy! Have at it,” Heaven pushed. “Go on!” she grabbed the Frisbee from a third grader handing it to Joseph like a plate. We stood around with our mouths open waiting, when Vernon who was at the other side of the playground broke through the crowd with his friends watching. Joseph fell to his knees with the Frisbee in his hands shaking like a leaf green from the though of it. The crowd began to chant low.
“Do it! Do it! Do it!”
“I triple dog dare you!” said Heaven Dolly loosing her head with laughter. Yet, it was a no go. Joseph went down for the count clasping in the sandbox face first like Mike Tyson punched him out.