Church: For Entertainment Purposes Only?

In today's church announcements, this Easter, we will be having our annual showout concert. This year we are featuring Kirk Pranklin, Wee Wee Winans, Marvin Slapp and Scary Mary. Tickets at the church door will be from $200 to $400. Plus there will be some love offerings going on up in here during this special 'pay to praise' service- depending on how often the Spirit moves you to give. Hallelujah!
Finally, effective immediately, the board of trustees has voted to change our name from the Rhythm Methodist Church to the Capitalist Baptist Church.

Top Comment: Wow! They changed their denomination to please their god known as the Almighty Dollar.


Church vs. State

Welcome to the fight that the world has been waiting to see for 2,000 years. In this corner, wearing hush money trunks and representing the State is the great Politician Man!
Over in that corner, wearing a double-crossing robe and representing the Anti-Christ Catholic Church is Father Flop (Matthew 23:9).
Get ready, now rumble!
Politician Man comes out of his corner as quick as new taxes & hits Father Flop on the arm- and Flop goes down and stays down until he receives tax free status for cooperating with Politician Man.

Top Comment: The fight between the Church and State was fixed long before Don King stepped in the Ring.


(Secret Dictionary Definitions)

1. Everybody Loves Raymond (the white guy)
2. Everybody Hates Chris (the black dude)

3. The White House (Law Makers)
4. The Black Market (Law Breakers)

5. Uncle Sam (the white ruler of America)
6. Uncle Tom (the black servant of America)

7. Superman (white & good actor)
8. Superfly (black & bad actor)

Top Comment: America's (subliminal) television programming was created by the award winning psychologist, Professor Willie Lynch Jr.


After Party Election Speech

Since my record shows I never did anything while president of the National Negroes Association, I knew at least 50% of white America would feel comfortable voting for me to become the first full black President of the United Snakes of Amerikkka.
Therefore, let's have another drink to the fact that the first piece of ASSigned intern I get- I mean the first piece of LEGislature I will push through congress will be the right for conservatives to have an abortion of all gay marriages.

Top Comment: His victory cigar speech sounded like it was mixed with hope & dope.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcdMcmU_Sr4