J.C. was too drained to attend the cast party after the show. Instead, she found Rachel and asked for a ride home. Rachel was happy to oblige, and they were soon on their way out of the school parking lot. Rachel tried to make conversation, but J.C. offered very little input. Eventually, they resorted to small talk with the radio quietly playing in the background.
J.C. didn’t know how much more she could take, and she increasingly felt overwhelmed when she thought about the day now passed. She may have been able to hide her feelings on stage, but now that the show was over, she didn’t have to pretend anymore. True, she wasn’t ready to open up to Rachel, but the ride was brief, and she knew that she would soon be home where she could be alone.
At last, she found herself climbing the stairs to her bedroom. Despite her emotions, she was surprised when the tears refused to come. Instead, she succumbed to total exhaustion. She changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and washed her face with hardly a conscious thought, then flung herself across the bed.
At that moment, her bedroom door swung open and Clarissa marched into the room unannounced.
“Hey, what are you doing? How can you go to bed at this hour? Aren’t you going to the party?”
J.C. rolled over onto her back and stared up at her sister. “Obviously not,” she said, gesturing to her sweat pants and t-shirt.
“Well, get dressed. You can’t miss this! It will be the party of the year!”
“Hardly,” J.C. disagreed. “This is Cloverdale, California, not New York City. Jamie’s parties don’t hold a candle to the parties there.”
“Well, okay, but it’s your loss,” Clarissa said with an exasperated sigh. “I kind of figured you’d chicken out anyway.”
“Whatever,” J.C. mumbled, readjusting the bedcovers around herself. “Go and have a good time.”
“I will.” Clarissa turned and flounced toward the door. “If you change your mind, you know where to find us. We’ll be at Jamie’s all night. You probably won’t see me until noon tomorrow.”
“Sure. Fine. Whatever. See you later.”
J.C. was in no mood to talk, and she just wanted Clarissa to leave. She didn’t bother to get up and turn off the light Clarissa had turned on when she entered the room. She was too tired to care. She thought she heard Clarissa say something to her mother in the hall but didn’t pay attention to their conversation.
She was determined to give in to sleep, but images and faces came to mind, swirling in nonsensical order without rhyme or reason. There was Sarah, glowing in triumph after their performance that night; Rachel, smiling and sharing a song with the other cast members; Clarissa, full of energy, ready to party the night away; and Brent, his eyes full of compassion, yet shadowed with deep sadness. A tear trickled down her cheek as she closed her eyes against all that she had seen that day. In particular, she sought to block out Brent’s face from her mind, but no matter how hard she tried, his deep brown eyes stared back at her. She willed for sleep to come and banish his penetrating gaze, but her hopes were not granted.
Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer. She got up from the bed and went to the dresser. She opened the top drawer and extracted her jewelry box. She thought if she could see the necklace Brent had given her and hold it in her hand, she could finally find some peace. But then she remembered that he had taken the gift back after recognizing her reluctance to receive it. She slammed the jewelry case shut and closed the dresser drawer. So much for that, she thought dismally.
She sank back down onto the bed and curled into a tight ball on her side. She willed for sleep to come once more, even as her thoughts and emotions continued to war for her attention. Somehow, she eventually managed to set everything aside, and she knew nothing else for several hours. When she was jolted awake at 3:00 a.m., it was to find that her whole world had changed.