In March of 2009 motorists in Louisville, Kentucky didn’t have to be reminded to lumber their oversized asses into a drive-thru to shove Colonel Sanders’ toxic food into their fat faces. There he was standing in the middle of the road, fat as can be, filling in potholes. You see it wasn’t nearly enough corporate presence to be on every channel three times every hour, or on thousands of billboards across the country or in thousands of magazine ads or in Value Pack mailers or Web site advertisements. The chicken actually needed to the cross the road to make sure he left grizzled, deep fried skin crumbs for everyone to follow directly to that sack of Type II diabetes and bucket of coronary bypass.

Kentucky Fried Chicken, a subsidiary of Yum Brands Inc., decided to be good neighbors and fill in 350 of the city’s potholes with the only catch being that it got to spray paint its corporate logo directly on the street over every pothole they filled. For a measly $3,000 KFC got a hundredfold return in publicity for this ‘kind act.’ Never mind that it’s the city’s job to look out for the welfare and safety of its citizens and repair these types of road hazards. Instead, they actually endangered their citizens by allowing distractions to be painted directly into the road. It’s also clearly a government endorsement of unhealthy food.

In an interview with National Public Radio, Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson said, “That gave us 350 potholes that we could fill without asking for the 11 herbs and spices…And so I said heck yeah. Count me in.” Abramson also said of this “outstanding corporate partner(’s)” idea, “… we're refreshing the streets, and their food is fresh, and therefore whatever it takes to fill 350 potholes, we're ready to play.” Ready to play huh? What he’s really saying is our community is for sale to anyone who’s ready to pay. “I think once the word gets out, there's no telling how many people will line up to have their own potholes,” he added.

Now I know that KFC tastes good. Of course it does. They wouldn’t be owned by Yum Brands if it wasn’t yummy now would they? Of course 770 calories and 27 grams of fat taste good. That’s how much ‘nutrition’ one gets in just one extra crispy chicken breast. Let’s not forget the nearly 1,000 milligrams of sodium in just that one chicken breast. Add one medium soda, one biscuit, and one cole slaw and you’re looking at 1,328 calories in one sitting. How about one famous chicken bowl with mashed potatoes? That’s got an amazing 2,350 milligrams of sodium. That’s more than the entire daily recommended maximum of sodium and about half the daily calories for an adult male in one sitting. And you know, as well as I do, this person isn’t likely to be drinking water and eating lettuce the rest of the day. Let’s not even get into the Double Down sandwich which uses fried chicken as ‘bread’ filled with bacon and cheese.

I could go on and on with how disgusting fast food restaurants are, like Burger King’s Stacker Quad with 69 grams of fat. Suffice it to say it’s not a pretty picture. I actually worked at a KFC for a total of six days before quitting. The one thing that stands out in my mind was how at the end of the night the employees were allowed to take home the leftover crap. A manager who had worked there only one year gained 100 pounds in that time eating his work.

In the year 2000, the Department of Health and Human Services estimated that nearly 130 million Americans or 64 percent were either overweight or worse. Reuters reported that a 2009 National Center for Health Statistics report stated that nearly 73 percent of Americans were now overweight or worse. The breakdown is 32.7 as being overweight, which means visibly paunchy. A solid 34 percent of us were obese or pretty much a sloppy fat ass. Six percent were Wal-Mart stretch pants, falling out of the tank top riding the power cart morbidly obese.

According to the report, the number of obese people in this country has doubled since 1980. Also alarming is that childhood obesity has more than doubled for kids aged 2-5 and more than tripled in kids in ages 6-19 according to figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

A 2008 state-by-state breakdown shows that only one state in this country has less than 20 percent of its residents not considered to be obese. And Kentucky you ask? Well, the home of KFC has only six states with higher obesity figures than Kentucky’s 29.8. Outside of Oklahoma and Michigan, the other four are all deep Southern states. The homes of the Joe Wilson’s, Jim Demint’s and James Infhofe’s of the world are also home to the fattest bastards in the country. You know, respectively, it’s the “you lie” guy, socialism dude and the dipstick who actually tells scientists to their faces they are “hucksters” about global climate change. Coincidence? I don’t think so.