Throughout this book I will teach you how to date safely, build high self-esteem, and develop healthy relationships. The relationships you build and maintain are the foundation of everything in your life, whether it is the relationship you have with yourself, your family, your friends, your coworkers, and your intimate relationships. The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. If you have a healthy relationship with yourself, then you will be able to have healthy relationships with others. This book is directed towards heterosexual relationships, but the same information applies to same sex couples. Just replace the “boyfriend” for “girlfriend”. The written exercises in this book are necessary to do. If you don’t do them, then they won’t help you. It’s that simple. They were included in this book for a reason, so I strongly urge you to take the time to do them. You can write your answers in this book or in a separate journal. Before I start talking about dating, I need to make sure that you are creating the right atmosphere and healthy habits in college right from the beginning. In order to have healthy relationships, you need to have a healthy life first!

#1 –Away from home
College can be one of the most exciting times of your life and equally the scariest. You are away from home for possibly the first time ever and all of a sudden you have to take care of yourself, not to mention figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. The first semester of freshman year is probably the hardest college will ever be for you. It is a big transition from life “as you knew it” in high school. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to start off on the right foot with healthy habits.

Going away to college can be a blast, but do not worry if you are not feeling that way in the beginning. Give yourself a chance to settle into your new life. It is okay to be homesick and sad sometimes or even a lot of the time. It is hard to leave everyone and everything you have ever known and start over. Time heals all wounds and this book will help you survive and thrive in college.

Most college students feel so much pressure when they go away that it “should be the best 4 years of your life” and “you need to find your lifelong friends right away”. Most situations are not like that. Do not put that kind of pressure on yourself. We are all on our own journey and you are right where you need to be. Everything will fall into place in its own time. The truth is, even those girls that look like they “have it all” the first few weeks of school are probably feeling the exact same way that you do.

Some girls feel excited, nervous, sad, anxious…how are you feeling right now? On the next page, I want you to write about how you are feeling at this very minute. It will be fun to go back and read what was going through your head at the time. And if you have a daughter someday, you can share what you wrote with her when she goes off to college. This is a new stage in your life and your future is in the palm of your hands. There is a big difference between college and high school. For starters, your parents cannot go to college with you. For some, that may be a good thing  and for others, that may be a sad thing.

Everyone gets homesick. It is normal to miss the familiarity of what you were used to, such as your family, your friends, your bedroom, your stuffed animals, your pets, your boyfriend, and maybe even your brothers and sisters. We are creatures of habit and no one likes change until they get used to it. Be patient with yourself and give it some time.

College is a blank slate. Like an artist, you have a brand new canvas to create exactly what you want. This is your chance to redefine yourself and your life. It doesn’t matter who or what you were in high school, whether you were popular or not because once you get to college you start over. You went from the top of the totem pole back to the bottom. Good, bad or indifferent, that is the way it works. Everyone is thinking the same thing: “Why am I here?” “Did I make the right choice?” “How can I make new friends?” “Where the heck is my next class?” and “What am I going to do for the rest of my life?”

Stick it out and hang in there. Don’t give into the temptation of dropping out or going back home every weekend. You might be craving your “old life” and what you were used to. However, this is the time where you need to step out of your comfort zone and create your own personal college experience. This is not a repeat of high school. College is going to be totally different.


#2 – High School vs. College

There are many significant differences between high school and college, both academically and socially. Being prepared for these differences will make the transition much smoother. The more prepared you are for college, the more successful your transition will be.

In high school, the day is long and attendance is mandatory. College is not an extension of high school. Your teachers will not remind you on a daily basis what is due the following day. Your class syllabus is handed out on the first day and is the most important paper that you will receive the whole semester. An academic planner is an absolute must to write down all of your assignments and to keep you organized. Doing your homework, even if the professor does not check it, will help your grade because it teaches you the material that you will need to know for the exams.