This collection of “Dear Granny” and “Dear Jordy” letters is a work of fiction...Granny and Jordy live miles apart and don’t see each other often, yet they nourish a warm bond through their letters. As they correspond over the span of almost a year, their written journey winds through serious concerns, light moments, the intimacy of shared secrets, and broken but repaired trust. Granny and Jordy also exchange a series of jokes, which cement their relationship through humor and levity...

In these letters a variety of situations that may arise. Not all of these are serious issues or problems – several are light and humorous moments – but as Granny and Jordy correspond, their relationship deepens. Then, when Jordy does have worries or problems, the door is open for Granny to provide guidance that Jordy has grown to trust and value...Today’s children are burdened by many personal and societal challenges, but one thing is crystal clear from the research and from our own personal experiences: Children need someone who listens to them, truly hears them, and responds with wisdom, love, and reassurance, not lectures.

Ideally every child should have a parent to fill this role, but parents are often too limited by time, job concerns, or emotional situations to listen attentively and communicate effectively with their children. In the past, when most families lived near relatives in the same village or city, an aunt, uncle, or grandparent helped to fill the role of the loving, interested adult in a child’s life. In today’s society, however, we are scattered across states, countries, and even oceans. A child can’t run to Granny’s house after school for cocoa, cookies, and a chat.

Yet children and grandparents can communicate by phone, email, and the “old-fashioned way” through written letters. Telephone, texting, instant messages, and email are certainly quick and easy and should not be discouraged. But I have chosen to create the correspondence between Granny and Jordy as written letters. It is simply my preference to take pen to paper and to read a letter that I can hold in my hands and keep. I also hope that children would be encouraged to write letters -- not necessarily to develop good penmanship, though that is an asset, but also to think as they write. The pace of writing a letter in long-hand seems to give children an opportunity to slow down a bit and think about the ideas and emotions they are putting into words. In our fast-paced society, that’s a good and rare thing...The point is to keep open lines of communication between the generations. Sometimes a grandchild may be busy, preoccupied, or reluctant to have a serious conversation or to write more than a line or two in a note. But don’t become discouraged. Keep writing, keep phoning, keep the door open and inject a little humor, as Jordy and Granny do with their jokes.

A few sample letters from Granny and Jordy’s letters:



Dear Granny,

I thought of a REALLY serious question. This is it -- Why are kids MEAN?
The worst is when kids call you names. In school yesterday Betsy called Kim “Four Eyes” because she started wearing glasses.
Everybody calls Jim “String bean,” but I don’t. (He’s really skinny). He never says anything but I know he doesn’t like it.

During recess Steve called me Fatty. I wanted to punch him. I gave him a dirty look but he just laughed and walked away. And that’s not all. Tom waits until he gets Jake alone at recess and then he punches him. Sometimes when Tom sees me or my friends, he pokes us in the arm or shoulder. Then he says something mean and walks away. I try to stay out of his way. Everyone is afraid of him. Jake told his father and his father told him to stop whining and start fighting back. Jake says he doesn’t want to go to school any more, and I don’t blame him. I hate mean kids, don’t you?

So this is my “Why.” Why are kids mean?

Apart from this everything is so-so. School is boring.
Love you,
Jordy

P.S. I have another WHY joke that is funny.
WHY did they have a funeral for frog?
Answer: Because he croaked!!!!



Dear Jordy,

“Why are kids mean?” Hmmm….good question.
Let’s start with name calling. When I was small and kids teased me, I used to say, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names can never hurt me.”

That’s not true. When kids called me names, it hurt and it made me feel sad. It made me feel angry, and sometimes it even made me feel afraid.

So what can we do when kids call us names?

The first thing to remember is that just because they call you names does not mean it’s true. You need to remind yourself that you are a good person, you are a special person, and you won’t stoop down to the mean person’s level. Usually the best thing to do is just ignore it and walk away. Fighting back can make bullying worse and you can get badly hurt.

Not everyone who calls you names is a bully. Maybe they didn’t mean to make you feel bad. If you think the person who hurt your feelings is not really a mean person, you can tell him or her that your feelings were hurt, and why. Say something like: “When you called me names it made me feel bad and I wish you wouldn’t do it.” It’s possible that they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings and thought they were only teasing.

About Tom punching Jake – that’s serious. Bullying gets worse when the bully gets away with it. There are two things Jake can do. The first is to make sure he is not alone in places where Tom usually hits him. This doesn’t always work. The best thing for Jake to do is to tell a teacher. Telling a teacher is not tattling. The teacher has a lot of experience in handling these things and can solve the problem without getting Jake into trouble.

Love,
Granny