C2: Consider the Facts about Caregiver Stress

Jane's Story: Lost in the Line of Duty

Just this morning, I had a startling realization: I’m lost! For the first time, I see that I have lost my zest for life; my energy is low and I am grief-stricken about Mother’s dementia. I have lost my confidence about the future; I have no idea where this disease will take Mom and the rest of our family. I am often lost in thought, preoccupied with how to get everything done and keep all the balls in the air. I have lost important parts of my life: my image of my parents as strong, vibrant people; my illusions of immortality and invulnerability; my hope that good people will be spared suffering; my sense of being someone’s child.

Parts of my life are dead and gone. My mind is confused and preoccupied. In giving of myself to help my parents, I have lost parts of myself. I am betting I won’t always be lost. I want to help because Mom and Dad won’t always need me as they do now. I am gambling that important parts of me can be revived. I hope I am right.


Where are you on your caregiving journey?

When I wrote this story I was just waking up to the fact that caring for my parents had become a chronic source of stress. It was beginning to take a toll and I was starting to see my need for help. What had begun as a natural desire to give something back to my parents had silently morphed. Unbeknownst to me, I had become a caregiver. I was beginning to notice other caregivers, many who were doing much more than I was. That gave me hope. If they could manage, so could I.
Your circumstances may be different than mine, but like me you are a caregiver. Where are you in the caregiving journey? Are you lost in the line of duty? What might be the costs and benefits of trading off parts of your life over an extended period of time? Though meaningful, caregiving is stressful and can take a toll on your physical and mental health. Explore the facts about caregiver stress found in this chapter and the many self-care suggestions found throughout this book. If you use them, these ideas can strengthen you and help preserve your capacity to care.



Self-Care Recommendations

Why do I need to understand caregiver stress?

Though it can be deeply rewarding, giving care is not an easy job; over time, it can make you sick. Family caregivers face a litany of challenges: physical demands, financial pressures, emotional ups and downs, major changes in roles and responsibilities, unfamiliar patient care duties, and worries about a loved one's welfare, 24/7. When caregiving goes on for a long time, it erodes your immune system and increases your susceptibility to disease. It increases your risk for depression and hospitalization. It is no wonder that 20 to 30% of family caregivers suffer from psychological and mood disturbances. Caregivers use prescription drugs for depression, anxiety, and insomnia two to three times as often as the rest of the population. For your own health and quality of life, it is important that you understand and learn to handle caregiver stress.


What is caregiver stress?

Stress is how the body responds to any demand. Caregiver stress is how you respond to the demands of being a caregiver. Viewed positively, the demands of caregiving are rewarding or challenging, and actually give you positive energy, but when the experience is negative, caregiving creates wear and tear on your body, mind and spirit. Caregiver stress, your health, and the quality and length of your life are all tied together, so it is very important to learn how to handle stress effectively. You have only one body and one life to live. Mismanaged caregiver stress can also interfere with your work life, personal life and caregiving relationships. Using effective stress management techniques protects you from some of these negative effects of stress.