The Pimple Dilemma

There’s absolutely no doubt about it – the fact was confirmed by several physicians – simply put, popping a pimple saved my life. However, popping the pimple wasn’t motivated by the discomfort of a medical issue, but rather by a touch of good old-fashion vanity. Yes, a bit of vanity because I was speaking about the evolutionary changes in book publishing, personified by my trendsetter employer, Infinity Publishing, at the June 2007 North Wildwood Writers Conference. Unfortunately, I was cursed with a dratful zit right at the opening of my left nasal passage.

My vanity pulled at me with negative zitful thoughts of talking with this group of authors and writers, only to have them focusing their attention on the gross pimple gracing my otherwise normal nose. I dare say the thought of hundreds of eyeballs staring at my nose pimple pulled on my usual ease of engaging in public speaking. Thusly my greatest concern was to spare my audience the gross sight of the nasty pimple that suddenly appeared like a poisonous toadstool after a spring rain.

My friends would quickly confirm that I’m not a vain person – I don’t need the pricy adornment of wearing the latest fashion trends. I do clean up right well, and when necessary, I’m comfortable dressing in neatly casual business attire – but without a tie!!!

Now I was confronted with this ugly pimple glaring back at me from my image in the mirror. I do shamelessly confess to having successfully popped pimples during my teenage years decades ago. From first hand experience, I knew this would be a rather easy pimp-pop – so to speak.

Then from beyond the grave came a remembering of my mother’s warning words: Never pop a pimple close to the eyes or near the openings of your nose because of the risk of infection that comes with the natural moisture in those tender areas. My mother didn’t say it in those actual words, but that was the cautionary thrust of what she often told me and my sister, Nancy.

When confronted with a choice between maintaining relatively good health or succumbing to the tempting veils of vanity, I usually favor wellness. Friends are laughing knowing my seemingly unhealthy taste for “junk foods” – but one person’s junk food is another’s nurturing comfort food. Of course mention would be made of my consumption of Pepsi, and coffee throughout the morning accompanied by a donut. Yes, I can stop at just one donut. I do have above average will-power. Naturally they would point out that I smoke a pipe – truly, I don’t inhale Captain Black pipe tobacco.

However, with all things considered, I’ve managed to maintain a relatively healthy lifestyle. I’ve celebrated sixty-six birthdays without the need of pills to maintain my normal blood pressure; there’s no need for diet pills to stabilize my slightly over, but rather comfortable weight. I have neither need nor desire to pop a pill to lessen stress or cure depression and I usually sleep soundly without sleeping pills. I’m not putting down pills – so to speak – they provide lots of positive benefits for many folks. I’m grateful daily doses of whatever are not necessary to maintain a semblance of good health.

Thusly being somewhat wellness-minded – with all delicious cravings for comfort foods considered – I leaned toward honoring my mother’s words and chose not to pursue the precarious pimple popping plan of action. Instead of overtly popping, I would let the annoying life cycle of the pimple run its dratful course. Problem solved without assuming the risk of the dreaded infection from an induced pop.

And then came the wise words of another kin from a distant grave, as I recalled Ben Franklin’s snappy retort when asked if he wasn’t being frightfully vain by writing and publishing his own autobiography. Ben merely explained that at times a little bit of vanity is a good thing, and since he wrote it, he knew the dates and facts are an accurate portrayal of the significant events in his extraordinary life. Methinks my renowned ancestor would have popped the pimple to make for a good appearance. Then came the constant truth: you only have one opportunity to make a positive first impression – so make that impression the best it can be. So very true!!!

I didn’t want this to be a zit-overshadowed first impression!!! I’d rather the writers remember me as the informative author from Infinity Publishing, and not as the guy from Infinity whose words were shaded with the ugly zit. So vanity won, underscored with the professional need to present a positive first impression. Sometimes you need to go with your gut feeling and trust yourself to take the risk and do what feels right at the time – come what may, such is life.

Thusly standing before the hotel room mirror, with a bit of a knowing squeeze, the deed was done, and the offending messy mass sprung free from captivity and went splat on the mirror, like often happens with a well popped pimple. Forgive me, mother, at times there needs to be exceptions to the prevailing wisdom from your time.

Infection!!! Indeed infection loomed as a clear and present danger, a part of the assumed risk that comes with popping a pimple by the opening of my nose – or for that matter, from popping any pimple. I recalled my USAF courses in first aid, specifically the instructions to bleed a puncture wound. The cavity remaining after evacuating the offending pimple mass was an open puncture wound that needed to be bled – no leeches required.

So after I was certain I had squeezed the yucky pimple core completely out, I carefully bled the cavity to purge the hole clean of the lingering nasty stuff, until finally my blood ran pure red. The bleeding stopped as the conference was about to start. I had a renewed zit-free air of self-confidence. I dare say my talk with the aspiring authors went well, and hopefully I made a good impression.

So far so good, applied. However, the unholy hole left by the exorcized pimple never completely healed, and at times it would sporadically open and bleed a bit, until clotting occurred. I considered this as a positive continuation of the purging needed to support healing. Of course I was washing my face regularly, swabbing with hydrogen-peroxide and applying an antiseptic ointment to ward off infection.

And then, the inflection cometh...