from Pain and Pleasure

“I’m after whatever you want to give me. I’m offering you choices. I’d never force you to do anything. I like you. I think you like me. I’d like to share pleasure with you but I don’t think you’re used to my type of pleasure.” I just stared. He continued. “Look at the painting behind you. Does that excite you?”

The painting he spoke of was of a woman and man locked in an embrace. The woman had tears in her eyes and a look of pain on her face. The man looked down on her, pleased.

“No, not really.”

“It does me.” He knelt at my feet. “Have you ever submitted, Julie, truly submitted to your innermost desires? Have you ever made love with complete abandon, not concerned with who might hear your screams?”

I shook my head. I could feel myself getting wet.

“Have you ever been tied up? Have you ever been ordered around? Have you ever been forced to have sex with people you didn’t know?”

I shook my head again. He made it sound so appealing. His voice was soothing and calm as he continued down a menu of sexual delights that I had never ordered from.

“I would like, Julie, for you to submit to me for one hour, that’s all I ask. I promise that no harm with come to you; no real harm anyway. Just fun and fantasy, that’s all I want from you. Can I have you Julie? Can I possess you for one hour?”

I didn’t know what to say. I sat mesmerized by his eyes, by his shadow dancing on the walls in the candlelight. I did want him, but I was scared. So scared. Could I submit? Could I give myself to someone? The words freak and odd and strange ran through my head. I looked up again at the picture on the wall above me. Could I do that? Finally he interrupted my thoughts.

“Obviously Julie, you need more time to think about this. Sleep on it.”

And with that he walked across the room, opened the door and motioned for me to go. I hesitated. Part of me really wanted him, wanted him to possess me. But not all of me and I knew he needed it all. Once I committed there was no going back. I stood, grabbed my purse and left, he said nothing else to me.

Again that night my thoughts went only to him as I listened to the rain pounding on my roof. Every crack of thunder hit my body with erotic electricity. I slept little.

The next day being Friday, it was bar night with the girls again. After work, we got in our respective vehicles and headed off. I got there first and again saw Derek sitting at his favorite stool. I looked at him longingly and willed him to look at me…he didn’t. I decided that I could do that too, but a few minutes of trying proved I couldn’t. I heard thunder start up again outside and my body went all tingly. A flash of that painting appeared in my mind. I had to see what he would be like, but could I give in? Maybe he could make me.

I approached him. “Possess me.”