Introduction

The journey of writing this book came about for many different reasons. I wanted to make it possible for those families who have experienced all different forms of cancer to realize they are not alone. Sometimes, when we are at our most vulnerable as humans, we forget we have a higher power that will do many things for us. When we are weak he is strong, and through prayer and patience, we can deal with anything in this life.

Jackie helped me realize life is not all about us. She was a warrior in the midst of the battle, and not for one minute did she say or give the impression of poor me. She stood by my side for many years, and for the last few years of her life, I tried to do the same for her.
I saw first hand the mighty maternal instincts we have all heard about. Her focus was on nothing more than surviving another day for her family. When she realized that would come to an end, her focus became helping us all to understand we would be ok in the future without her beside us.

Finally, I’m able to tell our story, to the best of my notes and recollections, in full. Many times throughout the years, people would ask me about her and our life. Without totally going over it, they would get bits and pieces of the whole story. Once I started the book, I could not stop. All my memories flowed out of me. This made me realize that not only was I helping others, but, I was helping myself to heal.

I hope our story can help you through your struggle, or somehow help the hurt you still might feel. I hope it can help you understand that life goes on and is worth living. Children survive, not without pain, but with strength to endure and live and focus on the good memories. This book has helped our family share the pain and grief, and focus on the living and the joy of life.

1
2008


This is a story of heartache, intense struggle, extreme physical and emotional pain and, most of all, love. I set out on this journey to let people know that there is a future in the midst of pain and suffering, and God is the one to help us all in our battles if we let him.

I also wanted to tell the story of an incredible woman whom I had the opportunity not only to know, but with whom to share my life. At the time, I took her for granted, as most of us sometimes do. But, I was fortunate to have her in my life. She taught me to never give up and that there is a light at the end of all tunnels. She showed me bravery that I never knew existed in any human being alive.

Jackie Lynn Zurbriggen was an incredible woman who gave her heart and soul to everything she did. She took things in stride that would crumble the strongest people I know. She touched an incredible number of people around her, including her friends and family. Life was never focused on Jackie. As far as she was concerned, she made it clear to all, that everyone else was much more valuable to her. Even when times were the toughest in her life, she had a knack of taking the attention off herself, and making everyone feel so much more important.

Jackie knew the true meaning of love and showed me that and so much more in her short life. She left an incredible legacy of three wonderful daughters, two of whom have become incredible mothers in their own right, and a third that will soon be an awesome mother as well. During her lifetime, when Jackie was close to someone, they always seemed to come away a better person in the end. She was and remains the model human being that God wants us all to strive to be. This is her story, dedicated entirely to her. My daughters and I are sharing our memories so you can have a glimpse of the way life’s struggles can be handled with faith and perseverance.

2


At this point in our journey with cancer, I want to bring in what my daughters remember. I can’t begin to put their thoughts and memories into words. First, what I thought they were or were not thinking is not necessarily what was going through their minds. It seemed to me, I spent most of my time when I was working and not working only focused on Jackie. And, in most cases, I had no idea of their thoughts.

When they agreed to finally open some protective areas of their minds and hearts, I was delighted. I knew the pain would come first, and then they would feel the release of letting these memories out.

So, consumed with Jackie’s situation and working, I really did not know how to deal in depth with the girls. My love for them never faltered; there just was not enough of me to go around.

Instead of interspersing their thoughts throughout the book, I felt you could discover more of their personality if they each had their own chapter. The following three chapters are some of their memories, good and difficult. For me, one of the nicest aspects of their thoughts is my own discovery of their true feelings. The best part came discovering that, through all the pain and difficulties, they still have wonderful memories that serve to keep their mother alive in their hearts.