You know the feeling — work is going all right, you’re reasonably comfortable in your relationship with a significant other, family communication is happening on a relatively regular basis, and your health is OK, too. All the important areas of your routine are right about average.

But then, “life” happens.

This reality that was fitting you like a comfortable old glove begins to pinch a bit. You’re passed over for that anticipated promotion. You and your spouse start to bicker over minor stuff. The kids seem to have sprouted horns and fangs overnight. And those favorite pants shrank in the dryer. Again. (Darn dryer!)

Suddenly, your life is not OK, and you realize, in hindsight, that you have “settled” for an average existence while your unpursued dreams are burning a hole in your heart. The most dangerous thing about living in a velvet rut is most people don’t even realize they’re in one until the day they say, “What happened to me? Why am I so unhappy?”

The wonderful thing about reaching this state of mental, physical and/or spiritual pain is now you’re motivated to shift things around, to flush out the gunk holding you back and reclaim your passion for life.

Welcome to BOOM Thinking!

Here is how the BOOM process works:

First, Put On the Brakes!

What’s the major limiting belief in your life that’s holding you back from where you want to be? For this exercise, pick the surliest, most threatening and overwhelming one. Are you feeling uncomfortable just thinking about it? Great! That’s EXACTLY what we’re going for!

Until you’re in serious discomfort with a situation, behavior or thought, you’ll just keep adjusting and plodding along in that same rut, the way you might not immediately stop to take a pebble out of your shoe during a long hike. I want you to feel so terrible that you just can’t bear to take one more step in a world where this limiting belief has such power over you. Until you reach that tipping point, you’re not really ready to change anyway.

Then, Observe

Where did this limiting belief come from? When did it first latch on to your self-esteem? Did someone say or do something to you at some point in your life, or is this a self-imposed roadblock?

We drag so many hurtful memories from childhood with us and frequently never make the connection that we’re still giving these shadows from the past such power over us.

Once you’ve identified where the darn thing came from, you can start figuring out why, on either a conscious or subconscious level, you accepted it in the first place. How has this belief been protecting you? How does claiming it benefit you? What do you NOT have to do as long as this limiting belief dominates you? What will you sacrifice if you release it?

Take some time with this step. In my years of helping people BOOM Think, I’ve seen how these limiting beliefs usually have VERY deep roots.

Now, Obliterate!

Here comes the fun part — blow that sucker up. Literally see this limiting belief being blasted to smithereens, relinquishing all of its power over you and your emotions.

For those who are more mellow, simply see this limiting belief being gently dissolved into light. Thank it for whatever positive function it fulfilled in the past and confirm it is time for it to move on.

Whatever your preferred method of visual clearing and release, GO for it. This old way of thinking and being is no longer serving you. It’s gotta go. NOW. BOOM that thing!

Finally, Make a New Mindset

At this point, you’ve done the hard work of dislodging an old belief that no longer served you. Now you get to be creative. Nature abhors a vacuum, so create a positive, powerful new thought or behavior to take the place of the one you just obliterated.

A note of caution here — you must be honest with yourself. If you’re seriously tone-deaf and you try to tell yourself you’re going to BOOM Think your way to singing like Josh Grobin or Celine Dion, your “inner critic” will instantly respond with a hearty, “You are SO full of it!” As you create this powerful, positive new mindset, make sure it’s firmly grounded in reality.

Change your mindset and change your life. It sounds simple, but you know it’s not.

Change is scary as all get-out, and like we’ve discussed, it’s usually not a comfortable process. If you’re reading this book, chances are there’s something eating away at you. You have grown weary of struggling to merely stay afloat, and you’re ready to reclaim your throne and scepter as Master of Your Universe.

So, here’s my invitation. If you’re truly ready to make a sincere effort to change your life for the better, BOOM Thinking will be your life raft in a sea of deep issues (or box of tissues!). If, however, someone gave you this book, you might want to just close it right now and check out something good on cable. Change is not easy, and it’s not for sissies. It has to be something YOU want to do for YOU, not for your significant other, parents, kids, boss or other demanding external dominating force, real or imagined. All your “putting on the brakes, observing, obliterating and building new mindsets” has to come from within you or it will have the permanence of an exquisite outdoor ice sculpture on a July day in Death Valley.

You’re going to have to make a commitment and get your brain around the concept that you have options and that you’re making a vow to discover and embrace them.

At the end of this work, you’re going to be a completely different person. I’m not saying you should stop seeing your therapist if you have one — I LOVE therapists! (mine’s on speed dial) — but get ready for some big changes that you’re about to initiate in your life.