Excerpt

Chapter One

BITTER OR BETTER?
THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU

How do you maintain a will to live after traumatic life event? How do you develop the ability to endure? How do you respond when your life is changed forever?

There are times when you know and expect your life will be changed forever. When you say your “I do’s” at your wedding or you hold your child for the very first time, you know that nothing will ever be quite the same again. These are positive changes and you look forward to them with great anticipation just as I did when I married Patti and when Molly was born. Then, there are the times that come without warning and with the force and fury of a lightning bolt and cause incredible harm. That was the case for me when I woke up and found that I had suffered a severe stroke as I was sleeping. Everything in my life was about to change but at the time I couldn’t begin to realize just how radical and permanent the changes would be.

This dilemma is faced by anyone devastated by a stroke or other life-altering event. As a survivor, you and your loved ones face a massive struggle with the mental, emotional, and social burdens that will come in this new version of your life. You will find that it is critical to have sustaining hope as you face this new uncertain future.

I’d like to help you find your way in this new future and so I invite you and your family to go on a journey with me. It is my hope that you will find your personal fork in the road where “motivation meets inspiration that will move you from bitter to better.”

To do this, I will use my story to help you bridge the information gap in a non-clinical way. But, more importantly, I want to introduce you to Take Brave Steps ™ for Stroke Survivors and Families. It will take the lessons I learned and show you how to break through the barriers of getting lost in fear, depression, and negative self-talk that present obstacles to recovery and wellness. As you become empowered by your own willingness to heal rather than losing the will to live, you will learn how to develop, maintain, and sustain the power of hope and a positive mental attitude that will help in all aspects of your life.

In the journey ahead, we will explore how to manage the ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster you will experience. I will share what you can expect in the days, months, and years ahead. This comes from the perspective of someone who has recovered from a severe stroke that left me paralyzed on my right side and nearly unable to speak. Your entire family will be affected by your stroke in many ways that are difficult to manage and understand. For that reason, I will also be introducing my wife Patti and my daughter Molly to share their helpful insights, tips, and perspectives with you as well. They will be able to tell you how the stroke impacted their lives and their reactions to change both good and bad.

Patti will also contribute valuable information for caregivers including time management and how to prepare for the significant challenges that are about to unfold. As your journey continues, you will have the opportunity to learn how to create a lifestyle of wellness as well as prepare strategies for your return to work if you are able.

By sharing multiple perspectives, we want to provide a roadmap. It will guide both you and your loved ones through the fears, adversities and challenges that often go unspoken and unanswered, until now—

It will be your starting point for new possibilities as you and your family set out on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle. I am confident that when you master these powerful but elusive guides, they will inspire you and your family on your “Take Brave Steps™” journey forward into a rich and rewarding future.



Raising the Bar

I acknowledge that all strokes are different, some more severe than others. They can strike anyone at anytime and have no regard to race, color, creed, economic status or even age. In some of the more severe cases your loved ones will have to provide you help on exercises in this book, such as in keeping a journal or finding other methods when communications and mobility are severely impaired. No matter what your present situation might be, the hope is that you will be able to use the information contained in this book to help you raise the bar and begin to make improvements.



Navigating the Maze—A Call to Action

The Take Brave Steps™ message of motivation and hope is designed to help you and your loved ones navigate through difficult challenges that often appear insurmountable. It is a learning process that will help you take charge of your situation and think through the tough questions that will lead you from “bitter to better.” The objective is to gain insights and wisdom for the journey ahead as you progress from a life shattering illness to recovery and wellness. Each chapter contains my own accounts of my stroke, from the emergency room to my return to work. You will have opportunity to glean information and apply it to your situation as appropriate. But this is not simply a telling of my story, it is meant to involve you. Throughout the book, you will be introduced to the ten Brave Steps that will personalize the process, as well as provide exercises, tips and other helpful information. They are identified by the shaded grey text. An appendix is also included in the back of the book that will provide you with additional materials, plus an easy reference summary of all the Brave Steps, exercises and tips you learned throughout the book.