Excerpt

The search for ridding oneself of the big ego may begin with you and end with you. Take a close look at yourself—within and without—and ask, “Am I what I want to be? Am I all that I can be? How do others perceive me? Is egotism standing in my way for a happier life?”

Your own hands are the best helping hands you’ll find, but there is other help out there if sought. The distillation of ideas in The Big Ego may be all that’s needed to turn you around. The shifting winds of egotism sometime make it difficult to throw anchor—but you can do it. A life dominated with self-conceit is nothing more than a long ego trip. Is that what you want for yourself? Reading about the negatives of egotism and the positives of a life without egotistical behavior may be all that it takes to motivate a change. You can do it.

The suggestions and pointers offered here throw light on egotism and offer keys to change. Obviously each person and every situation is different, so you’ll want to try the approaches you think might work best for you. Observation and preparation is a sure way to begin.

This Book Is Meant for Three Kinds of People

1) To coaches, mentors, and friends who are compelled to deal with egotists day after day—and the coping that goes on. Hopefully, some of the ideas will work for you.
2)
3) To those of you with bloated egos some of the time—and the full-time egotists out there who may or may not be ready to change. At least you might enjoy reading about yourself. Perhaps, you’ll be receptive to change.
4)
5) To the unsung ordinary gals and guys who go about their lives without inordinate fanfare. Maybe by reading about others, you’ll be glad to be where you are.
6)
Get serious. This stuff affects a lot of people. It’s about our encounters, competition within oneself and with others, and struggles inside and out. It’s about opening eyes and hearts, and possible change. Some of the lines will jump right out at you and be of value in helping others—or yourself. For those of you with the big ego, this can be a look-at-yourself exercise. A mirror can be quite revealing.

Now it’s your choice; read on, send a copy to someone you can or cannot stand —or throw the book out the window.





Getting Down to Business



There are three kinds of ego management:

1. Self-management (do it yourself).
2.
3. Assisting another.
4.
5. Getting professional help.
6.
If you are helping yourself, think of this book as a do-it-yourself manual. If you are attempting to assist another person, pick and choose the paragraphs you feel best fit the situation. To be successful with ego management, you’ll want to select the ideas most applicable and fine-tune them to fit the case. After achieving intended results, you’ll want to occasionally revisit the issues to make sure you stay on track. Procedures for letting air out of an inflated ego may differ with each individual. However, often the same methods can be used for helping yourself as helping another. Paging through this book, you can decide better than anyone which ideas may work—and which probably won’t. You be the judge. You might try a little fun during the process. Tricks, no; trade, yes. Your goal is to trade the big ego for a healthy self-image. In show business, they say, “break a leg” when wishing another success. Here, we advise, “break the big ego habit.” You know that “ideas are a dime a dozen;” it’s follow through that counts. So select the ideas in this book that are worth a try. No doubt you’ll have additional ideas to put the big ego on a diet.

There’s a little apparatus working inside your brain, which has a lot to do with how you project yourself and are perceived by others. Your ego can either be an ally for achievement, one closely related to your self-confidence—or otherwise. Controlling your ego comes from within. How you feel about yourself and how you want to be thought of by others is largely up to you. The big ego thirsts for attention, hungers for recognition, feasts upon self-importance, and can’t get enough applause. One has to wonder at what point pride blooms into conceit, vanity becomes vulgar, and show translates to being a showoff.

How the big ego thrives isn’t nearly as important as what one should do about it.

Think about the difference between pride and egotism.

Pride is all about the glorious feeling of elation one enjoys from satisfaction, achievement, possession, advancement, and the like.

Egotism is about wanting glory. One who is pregnant with genuine pride generally has a proper sense of his own importance. The egotist has an exaggerated opinion of himself and can be self-centered and boastful. One is not born with the big ego. It is acquired. Some people wear their ego on the outside for all to see while others utilize their ego like an armored suit, which hides the real person inside. Bursting with pride and flaunting one’s ego have far different consequences.

What may work well for you may not work for the ones you want to help. During a brief encounter with an egotist, it might be better to bite your lips and simply ignore the antics. When your affiliation with a perceived egotist is to be lengthy, you will probably want to handle matters differently.

Egotism has no language barriers. An inflated ego is excess baggage in any language, and you end up paying extra to lug it around. Who needs it?





Ego Tune-up



Take time for self-scrutiny. Be introspective. How do you feel about your own ego? Do you like what you see in the mirror? Do you have a tendency to boast and show off? Do you sometimes act in a manner you’re not always proud of?