Chapter 1
Alone on a Road Never Traveled

The doctor said I was unconscious for only eight hours, but it seemed much longer than that. All five of my senses have never been more heightened than they were during every second I spent face to face with my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. And my recollection of conversation throughout these sublime events remains sharper than a two-edged sword.

It happened on Monday, September 26th after a consuming day at art school, which I had been attending for merely three weeks. The rough draft I'd been working on hadn't developed into all that I was envisioning, and in front of everyone my instructor called it equivalent to garbage.

Just let it go in one ear and out the other... but the words keep echoing inside my head.

I recalled what a few students with whom I'd made friends had told me:

"Abbey, you are an artist. It doesn't matter what he thinks."

"You're the youngest one in the class and you're just as good as everyone else. That's why you're here."

"It's not finished yet. It's just a rough."

But what if they had only said those things just to be nice to me? What if the instructor really believes I have no talent? If I can't measure up to the standards of one instructor of my school, how will I ever measure up to the standards of the world? I'll never survive in this field. I don't think I have what it takes to be a graphic artist. I don't know if I even have what it takes to be an adult.

I didn't go home that evening. I drove for miles until I got lost, feeling heavy hearted and alone on a road I'd never traveled. The last light of fiery sunset had vanished and I was surrounded by darkness. There were no streetlights to guide the way, and there was no one beside me to give directions.

Why, God? Why am I the only one who is this way? Why do I care about things that others never waste their time caring about? Why am I so different? I just want to be like everyone else. Why, Father? What is my purpose? Do I even have a purpose? Why did You make me this way? Why did You even create me? Can You hear me this far from heaven? I wondered, noticing that the crescent moon looked like a smile in the sky.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.
Be pleased, O LORD, to save me; O LORD, come quickly to help me.
Psalm 40:11-13 NIV

I should have said a prayer, but I didn't. I wished to be numb, but I continued to feel. I was filled with fear and unexplainable sorrow. I was lost and absolutely no one was available to help me, but I drove on.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 NIV

I came to an intersection and spotted houses in the distance and planned to go there to ask directions. I stopped at the stop sign and signaled left, seeing no other cars on the road. Just as I began turning, I suddenly saw the headlights of an oncoming vehicle approaching from the left at high speed.

Should I shift into reverse or swerve to go straight? It was heading toward me so terribly fast; there wasn't enough time to decide. I froze behind the steering wheel, shut my eyes and waited for it to hit me. This may be the end of my life, but it's going to be all right. At that moment, I think I yelled, JESUS!

"Through the tender mercy of our God,
With which the Dayspring from on high has
visited us;
To give light to those who sit in darkness and
the shadow of death,
To guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:78-79 NKJV

The sound of colliding steel was virtually deafening, as the other vehicle slammed into the front driver's side of my vintage car and dragged it diagonally across the road. There was no air bag to absorb the impact, so my head was forced against the framework of the windshield. I felt the blood dripping down my forehead, and heard a Man's voice beside me in the passenger's seat.

"Fear not, Abbey."

His voice was so gentle and soothing, like raindrops trickling down a windowpane...like freely falling backwards into snow to make silhouettes of little angels on Christmas Eve...like sand beneath your bare feet while walking along the shore as delicate waves wash you clean with the kind of kisses only God can give...

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21 NAB St. Joseph Edition