Excerpt



War reminds me of a hot ember in the ashes of fire. The potential for fire is always there because the fire was never really extinguished. War has been a fact of life for eons of time. It never seems to go away. I no longer am oblivious to the decisions our government makes in regard to our relationship with the countries on the rest of the globe. Internet access allows anyone the ability to seek out facts. I read more now than I did before this experience. I actually call my Senators and Congressman when I have a question or an opinion, for two reasons. One reason is because my opinion does count and secondly, because I too, believe you cannot move people to action unless you first move them with emotion.

All individuals have values that are deeply engrained in their missions. Those very values shape all interactions. Different cultures, different religions coupled with different values do create friction. Through out history, there have been environmental, economic, and social inequities. They contribute to the proliferation of violence. I believe my country seeks to spread democracy around the world so that all people will benefit from the ability to help make decisions about the very community they live within in an effort to address those inequities.

I struggle to objectively understand U.S. involvement in Iraq. I want to believe I would not allow a bully to beat up on the innocent. I do want for others to enjoy the same freedoms allowed me. I want us to be safe from terrorists in our country, but the thought of losing what is most precious to me, my child, looms in my memory causing me great consternation. My own mother taught me years ago that the earth is a melting pot comprised of people with diverse beliefs in religion, politics, and culture. The first step to peace may be understanding this very diversity. Trusting and respecting our government officials to make decisions in the best interest of its citizens and world peace, is difficult because for most of us, our world is limited to our personal family and friends.

There is no doubt most of our troops have performed with precision, pride, and success in Operation Iraqi Freedom. The coalition forces struggle with the unconventional tactics used by Iraqi irregulars, remnants of Saddam, terrorists and jihad fighters. The U.S. government may have taken initial steps to form a new democracy in Iraq, but in doing so created a government that is so unstable. Only now, do I comprehend what Tom Brokaw said about war.



War is about big decisions, hard truths, and deceptions. But most of all it is about dying and surviving and taking care of each other.



A year has passed since James returned from Iraq. He was awarded the Bronze Star and blessed with his first child. There have been countless opportunities to relive feelings or discuss those truths about what has already happened in Iraq and what the future holds for us and the people in the Middle East. The words I have written on these pages chronicle so many emotions and so many hard truths. Even now, some American citizens speak of terrorism as though it is far away and unlikely to touch them here in the comfort of their society. I find terror in the thought that family members die on foreign soil.

I find myself apologizing in conversations with God and with older Americans that lived through previous wars either themselves or as the family of veterans, because I was one of those individuals who has been far too comfortable in my own little domain here in the Midwest of the United States. None of my experiences are new to anyone that has ever sent a loved one to a war. Whether the loved one lived or died, there have been subsequent side effects; some beneficial, others cruel. My eyes have been opened widely to the world of foreign diplomacy as my heart has opened to those here at home whose eyes have cried for years after seeing the effects of world diplomacy or a lack of diplomacy.



I have come to the realization that no matter how much I learn from past experiences, it will never tell me all I need to know for the present. When I ask what is the right thing to do in the Middle East and how involved should the United States be, there are no easy answers. Perhaps it is true that there can never be success without sacrifice. My son and others have participated in an effort to bring democracy to areas of the world where there is dire need for appreciating humanity and bringing dignity to that humanity. Many soldiers have died carrying out this mission. Their lives were sacrificed so that others might live.

I maintain the conviction that if I share this story with others, they may have a head start in developing a better understanding and appreciation for all that is being done for them and for others around the world. As a mother, I share the grief of those families who have lost their children in Iraq and Afghanistan. I hope it will bring them comfort to know their loved one was attended by members of their military family at their side in those last moments. They were not physically alone.

As new babies are born into the Swingle family, I will share the story of the babies in Baghdad. The babies in Baghdad are not just those born there but they are our own babies who died there in the name of democracy and a terror free world.