Excerpt

I love jokes that resonate with humor through an exaggeration of everyday possibility. Let me share a favorite this one about one womans out-of control behavior after her facelift:

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends a lot of money, and is thrilled with the results. Several weeks later, she enters a cab and asks the driver: How old do you think I am? About 32, says the driver. No, Im actually 47, the woman happily replies. Next she stops off at Starbucks for a quick latte. How old do you think I am?, she asks the server. Oh, Id say about 29, he replies. No, Im actually 47, she says as she practically waltzes out the door.

Now she is really feeling good about herself. While waiting in line to enter a museum, she poses her question once again, this time to the older gentleman standing behind her. How old do you think I am?, she asks him.

Ive always had a fool proof way to determine a womans age says the gentleman, but it requires me to put my hand inside your panties. Somewhat stunned, the woman stands in silence for a moment, but then recovers. She is feeling so jubilant that she says, What the heck, go ahead. The man sticks his hand into her panties, lingers a bit until she says Enough already, and then he quietly removes his hand.

Youre exactly 47 years old, he declares. Why thats amazing, says the woman in some disbelief. How did you determine that? Oh, that was easy he replies with a satisfied grin. I was standing behind you at Starbucks.

Most of us arent so out of control after cosmetic surgery that we would allow a total stranger to insert his hand into our panties; but the point is, cosmetic surgery can be a pretty uplifting experience, with strong sexual overtones.

It didnt take long for Aphrodite, that Greek goddess of love and desire, to invade my life - an interesting side effect to my cosmetic surgery. I questioned whether I was unique, or if surgery to enhance ones appearance impacted similarly upon the lives of other women. Did many experience a resurgence of sexuality? If so, did they dare reveal those feelings to themselves? Would they be willing to share such intimate details of their personal lives with a total stranger? I wondered how I could get those answers.

Then I happened upon an ad in New York magazine. Initially my eye was drawn to the photo of this woman who presented with unabashedly good looks. The words Denise Thomas - Cosmetic Surgery Consultant appeared beneath her photo; the words Whos The Best Plastic Surgeon? How would you know? were printed above. Perhaps she could offer me some further insights to answer my many questions. I dialed her number to ask if she would be willing to talk with me.

Denises enthusiasm and obvious sense of fulfillment from her work enticed me further. She agreed to a series of interviews.

During our first session she told me some wonderful stories of ways her clients lives had changed after surgery. During our second session I returned to her earlier statement that after cosmetic surgery women come back and tell her how much more vital they feel, that women in their 50s and 60s tell her details of how their sex lives have improved.

I bit my tongue as I asked her if she could elaborate on this thought.

Denise said she was willing to do so as long as I understood that she would use fictitious names. She assured me that all her stories would be factual, but emphasized that she maintains confidential records and never reveals her clients actual names. That established, Denise shared with candor.

She talked about several of her clients, but it wasnt until she spoke of Cindy, a 52 year old woman who said that before her cosmetic surgery she used to bury her face during sex because she felt so unattractive.

Since my facelift, Im no longer afraid to let my husband see that look of ecstasy that comes across my face while were intimate., she told Denise. I feel so good about the way I look, that now I want to peer deep into his eyes instead of into his armpit.

At that moment I felt relief that this interview was taking place by phone rather than face-to-face. My jaw had gone slack, my mouth agape; but secretly I experience a sense of validation for some of my private feelings. Women actually tell you these things? I asked as I found my voice. Of course. This is all about sexuality, she answered.
Denise, where were you when I needed you? I laugh into the phone.

This is our bonding moment. It is also the moment when I realize I need to explore this unspoken relationship between cosmetic surgery and sexuality.

I was aware that sexuality was something people normally didnt speak about, especially in personal terms, and at first was reticent to pose such intimate probes, even on my anonymous questionnaire. But eventually my yearning to satisfy an innate curiosity triumphed over embarrassment and I began to interview other women.

As my interviews progressed, not only with Denise but with other women who had undergone cosmetic surgery, I was impressed by the honesty, sensitivity and total candor with which they spoke.