Only on Loan

Yvonne K. Pitts


August 12, 1974

I awoke in the middle of the night and immediately sat up. Leaning toward the clock on the other side of the bed, I squinted to make out the time. It was two o'clock in the morning. I couldn't help but wonder if I had slept so soundly that I didn't hear my baby wake and cry. The "what ifs" came to mind as I swiftly entered his room.

In the darkness, I could hear Jason's soft breathing. I gently put my hand on his back, and felt the reassuring movement of his body as he slept. I bent down and kissed him, then my tears fell.
I stayed awake the rest of the night, hearing each time he stirred .... and thanking God that
he did.

Now I lay me down to sleep .......



November 27, 1974

Jason took his first steps today. He is such a strong healthy looking baby. No one would ever suspect that underneath, his little heart is not the perfect heart that almost everyone takes for granted.

The first step towards what?


January 24, 1975

Jason had been very fussy this evening. In fact, he was so restless that I turned the stove off and forgot about fixing supper to give him my full attention. As I held him, I noticed that his heart was working so hard that his shirt was moving. I put my hand on his chest and his heart was beating so fast that I couldn't begin to count it. After a fast trip to the hospital and a couple of phone calls, Jason and I were loaded into an ambulance to be taken to a distant hospital.

I held Jason all of the way. As I carried Jason through the emergency room entrance, two young doctors grabbed him and disappeared immediately. A nurse informed me that I would be told of Jason's condition as soon as possible.

I can't remember how long I waited for news about my son.

I just sat alone and waited.