How does someone get overstressed? Let me tell you about Joy.

Joy was a person who lived up to her name. She always had a ready smile and a pleasant word. She worked in the steno pool of a large hospital. She was very competent and enjoyed covering for vacationing employees. Joy was a self-starter and arranged her tasks in an order that pleased her with the tougher load in the afternoons when interruptions were less frequent. Recently she was assigned to medical records. She needed to learn the legal aspects of the position, how to fill out a dozen new forms and some different vocabulary to meet the needs of the agencies involved in claims.

Normally, these would have been easy tasks for her, but things were not going well. It seemed everyone was telling her what to do, and how to do it. Different directions were given for the same task. She was told everything was equally important. And, it seemed, the work all had to be completed yesterday.

In addition to the frustration of not being allowed to organize her work, there were serious problems, at home, with her teenage twin sons. Her husband died a year ago and the boys had made things at home pretty tough. One had a tendency to never want her to be out of his sight and the other seemed always angry and ready to fight. She still did everything for them, washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning their rooms, etc. The familys income was smaller and the extra from social security was being set aside for the double college expenses coming next year. Joy loved her house, but it was difficult to afford the monthly payments on one income. She often found herself in tears as she drove home at night. So many of her friends had been couples, and now she rarely saw them. She really hadnt had time to get close to any of her new co-workers and the old co-workers related to her differently since her promotion.

Joy was on overload. For her, this was too much stress. She had three major stressors, no support group and was vulnerable. She had too many losses, (husband, friends, co-workers, routines). These losses left her without a support group. Learning something new under pressure was difficult and a performance stress. Both her home and work environments had changed drastically, and she was vulnerable because there was no place or time to recuperate. Joy was afraid she might lose the house. She didnt know what to do about the twins. Joy was bone tired, but couldnt sleep. Her house was getting messy and a clean home was always her sanctuary. She missed her husbands friendship and why hadnt he taught her more about their finances. Things seemed to be spiraling out of control.

Joys lifestyle had changed in several ways. She was no longer half of a couple and her home life, which had been her comfort zone, was significantly altered. She had to rethink her finances. Joys personality normally was up-beat. She was an optimist and this attitude would help her gain control. She was a hard worker, and predisposed to being a survivor.

First, Joy needed to learn some quick stress reduction. Breathing exercises, stretching, relaxation runs and guided imagery helped with getting some rest. Next, she learned to manage some of her stressors: losses, life changes and performance areas were the worst. She needed to set goals about what was most important for her to accomplish. She had to learn to say, No to doing the work of others. The sons needed to share in the housework, at least with regard to their own requirements. After all they would soon be on their own. Joy had to consider selling the house in the next year when the boys left, but she couldnt do anything about that now so set the worry aside until later. It was decided some money had to be spent to get through the initial crisis. Joy hired a computer guru from accounting for two hours to set-up her finances and all she would have to do was data entry. A local health club had a special offer of twenty five dollars for a trial month and she took the offer. A support group of widows and a fitness group were helpful. She contacted the boys school counselor and asked if he would talk with the boys. This gave them someone else to lean on.

Joy was someone who liked to be organized and once she had a plan, she felt less pressured. With new or adjusted goals and a little practice Joy managed her stressors comfortably within a month. Joy, no longer, has too much stress.