God spread his arms upwards, as if indicating heaven. I just arrived.

What, from heaven? Julie was certain this God guy was full of bull.

Yes, from the heavens, God nodded.

Err, right. Julie grabbed her wall scraper off a chair and held it out in Gods general direction. She didnt know what she was going to do with it, as the blade was dull, and it was bloody useless even against wallpaper, and so it wouldnt do much good against a loony in a white robe. I dont know who you are, she started into a threat.

Im God, God interrupted.

Err, and I dont know how you got in here, Julie tried to look menacing with the blunt wall scraper, But theres the door, she nodded towards her bedroom door, And you can use it to get the cruck out of here right now, or I can toss you out the window, your choice.

God stood there looking bemused.

Well? Julie was shifting her weight from one leg to the other, as she had seen boxers do, thinking that would scare the strange man into making a run for it.

You, God started to speak.

Come on, make up your mind! Julie threatened him further.

You want me to go through that door? God nodded towards the door, as his hands were both full.

Well go on! Julie shouted at him.

Oh. Said God. All right. He slowly walked to the bedroom door, and stopped about a foot away from it.

What are you waiting for? Julie demanded.

God looked blankly at her. It doesnt work.

Julie was confused, which wasnt usual, as she was quite brilliant, in her own way. What doesnt?

The door. It wont open.

Well of course not, you have to turn the handle!

God looked from the door to Julie, and shrugged.

Oh bloody hell, Julie yelled at him. Like this! She almost pushed God down as she brushed past him and opened the door.

Oh. God said perplexingly, as if hed never seen a door work that way before.

Before he could say anything else, Julie gave him a shove through the door into the hall. From there she prodded him down the stairs, into the entry, and, after opening the front door as well, outside onto the front walk. All this time God had his two electronic devices in his hands, and was looking very astonished by this treatment.

Get off my property! Julie yelled at him and pointed towards the street.

God walked in the direction of Julies pointing finger, not the bloody one, all the way to the end of the walk and stopped on the sidewalk. He turned around to take a look at the house he just came out of. It was the old white house, in somewhat disrepair, that Julie and her cousin had moved into not that long ago. God, of course, didnt know this. He saw the pile of junk sitting in the middle of the drive. He saw the overgrown bushes in the front yard; he saw a few beer bottles on the weed-infested lawn just under Julies bedroom window. None this really made much sense to him. As far as he was concerned, this was the average house on an average Friday morning on this average planet he had never been to before. And as far as he was concerned, Julie was the average inhabitant of this average house on this average planet.

Well go on, get out of here! Julie yelled from the front door just before slamming it shut.

God looked around and saw a lot of average looking houses on two sides of a paved road. He did notice that the other houses seemed to look better taken care of, and none of them had a large pile of garbage sitting in the drive. He picked a direction at random and started to walk down the sidewalk, which was lucky as the paved road was used by cars, and the sidewalk was there specifically for the purpose of walking on.

An old woman with a shopping bag walked towards him from the other direction. She gave him a strange look as she stopped next to him.

My God, she commented, as she looked him over.

Yes. God replied. I am your God. He was still holding the two electronic gadgets in each hand, and still wearing the white robe and the white disco shoes.

Out of your mind more like it! The old woman laughed at him. Whats with the costume?

Costume? God looked down at himself. Is this not what God wears?

In a seventies movie maybe, she commented as she started walking away. Get some proper clothes on for heavens sake. All you weirdoes moving into the neighborhood. This used to be a great place to live.

Julie popped her head out of the upstairs window and noticed God was still standing in front of her house. You still here? I told you to shove off!

The old woman just waved her away with one hand, mumbling to herself. Theres another weirdo. Why do they all have to move here?

To which came Julies reply, Shut up you old hag!