EXCERPT


POINT OF VIEW

Ill bet you think my cat
Is sitting on your lap
Because he likes your hat
Or the way you part your hair.

Ping is sitting on your lap
Because youre sitting in his chair.


PRETTY PLEASE PING

Pretty please, Ping
Stay down off the counter.
That Thanksgiving turkey
Was not cooked for you.

Dont you remember
The night to remember
The night you were caught
In the bouillabaisse stew?


PAIN IN THE NECK

Ping hates dancey, dancey.
It really makes him burn.

When someone tries to make him dance.
He doesnt want to learn.


PRIDE

Ping is a superior example
Of one of the better species.

So why must he share a house
With a dog who dribbles and sneezies?



PAVLOVS CAT

Ping is a cat who has lived all his life
With a family that simply adores him.
But the fact that they still do not know what he says,
Is a fact that consistently floors him.

Hes tried speaking slowly and right to their face.
His language is clear, not abstract.
They can put a man on the moon, it seems,
But they cant understand a cat.

He simply cannot make his voice understood
Even if he raises it.
One meow sounds like another to them,
No matter how he phrases it.

A simple request like mackerel, please
Always falls on deaf ears.
He might as well ask for -- tomato soup
For all that anyone hears.

He once made a list of the words he knows.
There must have been fifteen or twenty.
He figured considering the cat words they know
Fifteen or twenty was plenty.

It annoys him so that they never look
For ways to communicate.
Invent a computer or buttons and bells.
Hed be glad to cooperate.

But hes given up hope, for they still havent heard
A single word hes spoken.
Therell be a lot of red faces around
When the cat language code is broken.


PINGS PROVOKED

The swishing of his tail
Tells a tale
Best told
In BOLD


PING WANTS TO PLAY IN THE MORNING

Ping wants to play in the morning.
He gets the sheets in his teeth
And yanks them off without warninga supertheatrical sweep.

Then he bites at their toes
And their clothes
And their nose
Which hes not supposed to do.

He pokes at their eyes
And then tries
To surprise
With cries of a feline boo.

He jumps on their knees
Despite pitiful pleas
Of oh, please,
Could we go back to sleep.

But no mercy he shows
So before the cock crows
They pull on their clothes.
And as everyone knows --

Pings on their bed fast asleep.


PATIENCE

Ping sleeps in a sunbeam

His tiny karma
Patient
Watchful
Not fearful of moving on.


PRESENCE

Ping likes to enter a room with style
So its important that you greet him with a smile.

Dont say, Is that a Siamese cat?
You know you know that.

And dont say, I wouldnt pay that for a cat!

And dont say, Nobodys buying Siamese.
They buy Burmese
And Balinese
And Tonkinese
And Abs,
But not the Siamese.

Dont say that.
Please.
Instead say, What extraordinary style!